Ladies, are you looking for the perfect gift for your guy? Or parents, are you looking for the perfect gift for your son?
We know that it can be hard to find exactly the right thing to express to them how much you love them, how much you care, and it makes it especially difficult when that guy isn’t of legal age to buy his own firearm in your state (you really should have those laws challenged in court, you know).
What if there was one perfect gift that universally appealed to men, that you just knew would be a hit when they open the box?
Fortunately, thanks to our friends at The Babylon Bee, we finally know what that perfect gift for men is. From The Babylon Bee:
Thousands of men across the United States are reporting better sleep after trying a new white noise machine which plays the soothing sounds of an M-1 Garand.
The groundbreaking machine, which has already cured men afflicted with sleep apnea, insomnia, and circadian rhythm disorders, has three settings: “Goodnight Garand,” “I Dream Of Garand,” and “Garand Classic.”
“This has totally changed my life,” said Grant Fowler, who suffered from various sleep disorders for years before trying the new M1 noise machine. “I tried everything — melatonin, NyQuil, CPAP machine. This just plays the sound of that sweet, sweet semi-automatic firing, and I’m at peace.”
There are also reports that the machine helps men suffering from anxiety and depression, and why wouldn’t it? Doesn’t every guy love the classic sound of an M1 Garand?
It’s a Godsend to guys everywhere!
Of course, we’re kidding about all of this (You did know that The Babylon Bee is a satire site, right?).
But like any good satire or humor piece, there is an element of truth in it.
And what is that truth? That men love guns for sport, for recreation, and to protect those that they care about.
And in all seriousness, those reasons (especially the last one) are fantastic reasons to help your man buy the firearms that he wants for his collection, and that really is the perfect gift for him.
