[Satire] Finally! The REAL Cause Of Gun Violence Revealed!

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One of the best things in the world (in my opinion) is a satire site that actually makes a good satirical point and is funny. That’s pretty rare to find and some satire sites that used to be funny are no longer funny or making any worthwhile point (I’m looking at you, The Onion).

Fortunately, there is one satire site, The Babylon Bee, that has gained a lot of prominence lately (so much so that snopes.com felt that they had to fact check obviously satirical stories such as “California Considering Tax On Breathing.”).

The Babylon Bee is a satire site specializing in Christian and politically conservative satire pieces. And it is consistently funny.

Of course, with Snopes rating “Babylon Bee [as] The Wold’s Most Accurate News Source” (yes, that is another Babylon Bee piece trolling Snopes for fact checking Babylon Bee satire pieces), we’re very likely to see Snopes fact checking a new piece on gun violence from The Babylon Bee. The title? “Study Shows Leading Cause Of Gun Violence Is Those You Disagree With Politically.” From that (satire) piece:

An exhaustive new study from the CDC reveals that the leading cause of gun violence in America is your political opponents. Researchers looked at a number of potential causes of gun violence such as mental health, family situation, cultural shifts, gun laws, rap music, videogames, sugar consumption, and the actual gunman, but by and large, the most prominent cause of gun violence was what most already suspected. The fault lies with those who you disagree with politically.

Researchers say they almost forgot to even consider the idea that the shooter had any volition or free will of their own. After looking into it, they said that the gunman was, “…a moot point. The fact is, even if the gunman didn’t act, your political opponents would have caused the violence one way or another,” lead researcher Karl Porkenheimer. “They wanted this in the first place.”

Other findings include:

– 99% of gun violence will end the moment your political opponents are wiped from existence

– A large amount of gun violence is prevented every year by vulgar tirades against your political opponents online

– Tests revealed large traces of blood on the hands of your political opponents

“These results are pretty conclusive,” said Porkenheimer. “Your political opponents are the real problem here. Americans have a lot of work to do, and that work starts with calling those you disagree with politically murderers. If enough of us can manage to do that, just maybe we’ll see a shift in these horrible attacks.”

I find myself laughing so hard that I’m almost crying when I read that, but, sadly, the reason why it is satire and not just pure comedy is that The Babylon Bee really nails anti-gunners on their viewpoints in this piece. Because of that, it’s, unfortunately, pretty unlikely that you’ll change an anti-gunner’s mind with this piece, but it might be fun to send it to them to troll them anyway.

27 COMMENTS

  1. Yikes….never thought an election would/could trigger so much violence. The concept of any election is that there WiLL be a winner AND a loser. I have voted for both parties most of my adult life…voting FOR the PERSON not the party at every election.
    So….that being said….makes me wonder about the mental status of a portion of the voting public. IF your preferred candidate does not win….your life should continue as usual. I’m 74 and have managed to accept THE results of every election that my preferred person lost…and never suffered in any way because my person lost.
    So…..will we end up requiring a statement of mental health for every MAJOR election??? All the bullshit I read seriously makes me wonder what THE END SOLUTION will be to this. Questioning IF the voting age may be raised for the younger generation to mature??? One would think once you work, accept responsibility for yourself, finished your education….you should be able to vote AND accept responsibility for the outcome….win or lose….PERIOD.

    • Christel Lea, AMEN about the way you vote! I too vote for the INDIVUAL and NOT the party. I DO however phrase my philosophy by THIS PHRASE: I vote for the lesser of two evils, and pray that we don’t get the evil of the lesser.

  2. And yet…even with all the verbiage that proceeded the actual “blue letter ” statement, there were still folks that seemed to think this is/was an actual piece.
    What can you do?

  3. All the above causes of gun violence revealed, has yet another underlying root cause and that is the abandonment of 2000 old true Christianity. Having become too worldly, we have forgotten who we are and why we exist.

  4. BABYLONBEE … is my favorite site, when after the daily stupidity of the left antics … I just need some laughs … One aspect I enjoy is that they pretty much make fun of any and everyone … left, right, hard core middle of the roaders … I applaud their continuation of making smiles abound.

  5. I have often speculated whether these “Mass Shootings” are just Random, or are they similar to “Suicide Bombers”. Are these incidents perpetrated by fanatic Anti Gun factions, to add “Fuel” to the Anti Gun movement? To outrage the public so as to gain support for their cause? Or something else, such as the dismantling of the “Minuteman Army?” (An UNARMED CITIZEN country IS MUCH EASIER TO CONQUER than one that has “an Armed Citizen Behind every blade of grass.” ) Paraphrase from a WWII Japanese Naval Admiral, answering the question, “Why don’t we invade the mainland?”

  6. Back ground checks are a good and necessary part of obtaining a firearm. The applicant’s mental health history, if vetted, could prove to be a worthwhile addition. They certainly should not impede a law abiding citizen’s acqusition of a firearm. But, criminals will, of course, disregard any impediment imposed upon them and arm themselves by any means available to them. So what will imposing further restrictions actually accomplish?

    • Not a thing! you see their gun free zones don’t work they just let the criminals know that gun free zones are an easy place to commit their crimes as they know the people are disarmed. Besides that any gun control is very unconstitutional and we see how corrupt our government really is they want to disarm all of us citizens of the United States so they can turn our country in a communist country. Where they control us. Check out the NWO. They have been trying to push this for years they are evil and corrupt. I happen to love the freedom of being an American and doing what I want to without any problems. I am a law abiding citizen and never hurt no one. I do enjoy the out doors and am a man of GOD this is where everyone has gone wrong they turned their backs on GOD and his SON JESUS. GOD says he can heal their land if they find their way back to HIM. My advise is for everyone to read their BIBLE instead of going to any organized religion remember you have your own relationship with GOD and that is between you and GOD and no one else. That is my take on this corrupt country we now live in. People get it right get right with GOD he does forgive.

  7. snopes is a liberal whinnie democratic organization, neither of them work
    there are only 2 people and they have no resources to confirm anything.
    they were and still are a queer illegal muslim obama supporter.
    if you believe anything them idiots say you need to join aarp the other socialist organization.

  8. This is getting so hard. I’m 74 which means about the only guns we knew of as kids were for soldiers or hunting. I still remember hearing about the first mass shooting, the Constitution is a document I revere and faithfully believe in, and regardless of what corzet say, The United States of America is still the best country on earth. Whenever I hear someone bash my country, it makes my blood boil. And whenever I hear about another mass shooting, my heart bleeds for America.

  9. The problem is the younger (& older) voters believe (not funny) that if you do not agree with their Liberal side you are EVIL and should be hated, attacked or worse. Where the fact is, they are the ones committing Evil Crimes (in the eyes of GOD), by killing babies. Just because of that fact, God gave us D. J. TRUNP to put an end to these Crimes.

  10. It’s really sad that all Trump has done for this country, got the economy in good shape, got lots of jobs for people that needed them, and has done a lot of good for this country, yet their hatred (why??) is so blinding, that many would like to kill him!! When we lose him our country is taking a very steep nosedive, and we will never recover, wonder if that is wat they want?

  11. Bingo…… No action is committed in a vacuum… there is always a reason…. good or bad… but a real reason………. look to see who gains from an action….. it will tell you who is behind the action….. in this case… who gains from weak southern border//// demo commies….. mass illegals flodiong our country that they can cvon into voting commie…. they have conned the black community for decades…. the Demo commies enslzved the Blacks in the 1800/s…. and puched for further segregation laws until midf 1900’s…. on the other hand..,.. Lincoln was a Republican…. Republicans fought and died and freed the blacks in a civil war against the DemmoCommies… I am sick of what the Demo Commies are doing to our country….. the hilarious thing is that they are like the 98 lb punk trying to instigate a fight with the 300 pound heavyweight…. bring it on bit//hs!!! letys get it over with… why do you think the demoCommies want to dfissarm the Republicans???? far easier to completely take over a country when it is defenseless.. every country that turned Commie… did so on the blood of millions of its conservative fellowman…. lets turn this around……….. for a change………… every single one of us knows that gun control is not the answer…… that guns are not the problem…. I grew up with guns…. got my first Python (.357 Magnum fopr you demo commies) when I was 16…… not one time did i ever see it load itself and poi9nt and pull its own trigger….. guns and a free society are the answer to a societal problem…. not the problem itsdelf……………… as far as school shootings go………… just look at who else had then……….and how they solved their problem…………. America is no the first here……… Isarawl had mass shootings…. Muslim terrorists… they solved it by arming their teachers… presto… no more mass shootings….. amazing hun…….. logic and hard action works everytime…. amazing huh……….. maybe we chould have IQ tests and pass history …….. before allowing ANYONE to vote……. not to run the country…. look at who the fool voters put into office… Omar and AOC… the only ones dumber than those two are the fools that voted them in……. perhaps we need to havbe a re-vote and lets ee if the keep their seats???? is that even possible in the USA??? a vote of NO CONFIDENVR IN THE????? SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN??? MAYBE I WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT NEXT TIME AFTER PRESDIENT TRUMP WINS AGAIN……… OR MAYBE I WILL JUST BUY A BOTTLE OF STELLA AND SAY F- IT ALL….. ???? VOTES???

  12. Wow! I love to see the strong response! I’m a gun owner and when I hear the Dems rattle on about gun control I just get pissed! The ones who want to control this issue know absolutely nothing about the problem. Beto O’Rourke in the last debate saying yes we’re going to take your AR15s, your AK47s. They still believe that the AR in AR15 stands for Assault Rifle. Study history. There is a very good reason that our forefathers gave us the Second Amendment. It’s to protect our liberties from idiots like Beto! If you dig deep enough into the subject you’ll discover that since the laws on concealed carry loosened up crime in this country went on a deep decline. The “Bad Guys” are less inclined to act in an area where someone may be carrying a pistol. Nearly every mass shooting occurs in a gun restricted area. Virtually every shooter was on one or more medications to treat mental issues. These meds warn right in their description “may cause suicidal or homicidal urges”!!! Main Stream Media is controlled by powerful people who further their agendas by controlling politicians and brainwashing people through everything from Fake one sided News to Late Night shows. They are relentless! Turn off your TV and start digging for the Truth! We have to save this country!!!

  13. Stupid people make me want to punch them in the throat! I want ANYONE to show me a single case where a weapon of ANY KIND on it’s own has ever killed a person without some sort of human contact! You’ll not be able to find such a thing. People kill People, with weapons YES, but with bombs, like those scum bags in the Boston marathon, &with Serin Gas, overseas, which is a TRULY GLOBALLY banned substance but it took humans to set it off. In America today AK’s & AR’s are used more as a hunting platform except for the military and police. What makes them so scary for the average person who listens to the main stream media is they have that BIG BAD clip with all those shells in it. You know if the media would let the people who actually know about weapons to begin with, speak about them, so the public that is uneducated in the area could learn from a knowledgeable person instead of some idiot spouting B.S. for some agenda he, or she, has things wouldn’t get as ridiculous as they are getting. Just in force the laws we have & all will be fine. Criminals will always get what they want, be it guns, dope, booze, you name it. GOOD GUYS are good guys BAD GUYS are bad guys, money makes the world go round unfortunately for the average citizen it’s always been that way, it’s always going to be that way.
    Here’s my humble take on why, we’ve got Congressmen & Women in there 70’s 80′ still serving getting better benefits than the average citizen could ever hope to get & but they force you to retire.Sure you can go to Wal-Mart and be a Greeter, just don’t make to much money or they’ll cut your S.S. checks, oh yeah by the way they just voted themselves a raise and denied a raise S.S.

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